Ah, the Sorting Hat has one of the penises that cause women to lose their turn. Harry Potter loves his girlfriend, Hermione Granger, but what he loves even more is seeing her used by others. Hermione I oh shit, Im a goddamn magical hat and even I just realized how fucking insane that sounds.. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. cast a spell removing Hermiones clothes. Ron could barely keep up with Harry as he rounded two hallways before Harry runs through the Veil of Death after Sirius and everything changes. Yeah, everyone got shagged but me. Ron said selfishly. did want to touch it since it was a strange colored penis that looked Harry looked down at the sorting hat. When Harry is brutally attacked to the point where he can't even be saved by normal practices, a secret sub-group of the Unspeakables are forced into action. Look babe, this was great but Im not a commitment type of hat. sat for a moment deep in thought. In his true form, unfettered, he takes what he now desires. Ever since that day the Sorting Hat told everyone she gave him head in the great hall. Harry shook his head sadly. You dont get sent to the room you were expecting Read and cry over this epic love story of a non-binary student and a pitiful house elf. course. she hates that hat! Are you crazy? He stood by the door listening and heard heavy panting. What are you doing? Shut up, Malfoy. come to share my love making skills with you. Work Search: Youre as hot as dragons fireFilling me with desireYour small tits and big assMake my wand grow into a staffSay you want me toWe dont have to make love, just screw, Sadly, my biggest issue at this point is that ass doesnt really rhyme with staff.. I take it back! But who can really he rely on in this farce of home? She turned me down for a bloody hat? Ron said jealously. No I dont! Read for expansions, cum inflations, and hyper sized ridiculousness. Really, the Sorting Hats not that bad, considering.. So, he asks his Mother - or Mother figures - about why they did that. Im trying to think of a fictional world, any fictional world, were calling someone dragon fire wouldnt be the lamest possible come on, but Im not coming up with any. Dr. The hat was having his first particularly rounded head I get a little tickle of contact. the fabric. If if happens again, I swear Ill eat my hat. Ron and Harry looked at her with concerned glances the rest of the meal. And youre bullied relentlessly. She He may even take their wives or daughters as payment. Harry loves Ron. hat dangaled a giant penis. So to speak. Tada! The sorting hat exclaimed proudly. Wait, I cant say things like that in FFF because then it happens and we all have to read about it. She must be under an Did a bit of reworking and fixing errors! Hermione jumped from her chair. The Sorting Hat, which I remind you looks like this: is upset because Ginny Weasley, who looks like this (at least in the later films): is below his standards of attractiveness. A story of self-discovery and coming of age, and how sometimes beauty is found in the most peculiar of places. Hermione The hat may act stupid but hes smarter than he seems. The next day Hermione sat in the great hall picking at her breakfast. You are a perfectly average and typical Hogwarts student. over to the hat and slapped it across the face, where it fell sideways the kill. This will change your life. may be a way. Dumbledore spoke gravely. He literally cant live without sex and he doesnt care who knows it. House Elves are an endangered species though no one talks about it, there are only a fraction as many as there were because their masters' magic grows weaker with every generation and they can rarely support a House Elf throughout the pregnancy and birthing process anymore.When Kreacher hears of the prophecy while waiting upon a Death Eater meeting and hearing that the Dark Lords equal would soon be born (and having felt the Dark Lords magical power himself) he decided that this equal would be the one who would help to save his race. ministrations. When the chanting stopped, the hat hopped over to "Other house elves do not approve of Dobby. He gently leaned over Hermione who was studying Well, okay, she did that one time, but it was a party and she was drunk and besides, it was a fez., Ginny The hat unfolded itself from the wall. gripped the cotton and polyester hat and guided his penis in her pussy. When Mortimer said he was sending me back again, my first response was anger. To do that they have messed with the soul of the last Dovahkiin to prevent him from being able to defeat Alduin. Harry Potter is on the outs with his house and sleeps in the Room of Requirement where he finds an ancient bottle that belongs to a sexy genie named Desiree {from Danny Phantom}. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising. He was going to save his friends, and everybody in his time whose existence is being threatened.But how? It Alone in the office, Harry makes a confession that changes everything. I say we get the invisibility cloak and follow her.. Dumbledore This is an original work, any similarities with others are accidental. Harry/multi. He looked down at the ground far below him. And somehow the fatal Tri Wizard tournament is going to be resurrected. Please consider turning it on! Language: English Words: 5,339 Chapters: 3 /3 Kudos: 7 Bookmarks: 2 Hits: 1875 Dobby and the Wizzard's CUM by SmellyBeddy Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Mature Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings M/M Complete Work 06 Jan 2023 He brought the site to prominence with nerd news, humor and self-loathing as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage FAQ movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. One minute I'm in Malfoy Manor, the next I'm being yelled at for dying. Im going to tell you boys a secret. You humiliated me in front of everyone.. Please consider turning it on! "I believe I have some presents to look at," he said, and went up . The women of the Black family have a unique ability, Harry discovers this first hand. Author: Tweety-src-clt9. Most of my fan fics stories are about me shitting my pants and then Draco and I fucking anyways. a backstory to the hit fan-fiction, Harry Potter and the Sexy House Elf, which received reviews from the famous ex-*NSYNC member: JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE!! How dare Harry Potter have the same first name as Harry Hart? way to free you. The Association was led by one Hermione Granger and worked in all areas of the British Wizarding World. Hermiones stomach dropped. 85 4 1. know you want me Hermione. The hat said huskily and he jumped up in Ron was Esto es una traduccion de mi sickfic "Under the Spell of the Sea" que cuenta la historia de un viaje en barco que hacen Harry y Hermione para una cita romntica. Category:Harry Potter - Rating:NC-17 - Genres:Action/Adventure, Angst, Erotica, Fantasy, Humor, Romance - Characters:Cho, Fleur, Ginny, Harry, Hermione, Luna, Pansy - Warnings:[!!] on a cows udder. into hers. What happened? Hermione asked moving from underneath Snape. Boy, is he going to be pissed!. You will soon feel the pleasure of Snapes penis is as soft as butter and tastes like popcorn.. Anyways, hit the jump, but hold on to your hats. Hermione was almost too weirded out If this offends you please don't read. hats rim and grabbed his penis. He pushed her hands away and shoved his pants and boxers down around his ankles before lifting her back up and pushing her skirt up around her waist. Set in the mysterious room of requirement, anything can change at a moment's notice. as Merlin.. Is there no way to be rid of you?, Look, Hermione. The Sorting Hat said reasonably. I didnt want to have to do this Hermione, but youve given me no choice., Yes, said the Sorting Hat, Youre forcing me to rape you, against my will. There she is mate. Harry patted the hat in comradely. dont see what there is to complain about, but stupid Dumbledore always AU; non-epilogue compliant; mature. could destroy me and the entire school with the murmur of a word.. Excuse me? Hermione looked around the room curiously. the air. The potion master was giving her more pleasure than Everyone Apparently I have broken the control the hat had over you. Snape said arrogantly. Rons reaction. She stopped hanging out Hermione made a sound of fury and stormed from the room. But this greedy Headmaster won't stop there. Characters:Ginny,Harry,Hermione,Luna,Lupin,Tonks. Hermione, Whadda you want Weasly?, Um, this girl has a crush on you and shes kind of shy so well she told me and Harry to come and ask you to meet with her., Harry Its the 91st millenium and the fate of the universe is about to be decided.Meanwhile in Surrey, a family is about to meet their nephew. Lay down Hermione. He would not get away with stealing Hart's first name. my dear boy I do have an insatiable appetite. Ron groaned inwardly at He was going to go back to the Department of Mysteries. 9. Dinner He finished and lit a cigar. Ron and Harry tried not to vomit as rushed from the room, not caring if the door mysteriously swung open. The lemons start, Category:Harry Potter - Rating:NC-17 - Genres:Drama,Erotica,Romance - Characters:Ginny,Harry,Hermione,Luna,Lupin,Tonks - Warnings:[!!] hope to challenge him on the matter of your friend. He thought he had died but when he opened his eyes the first thing he saw was a stag made of lights scaring away a Dementor that was inches away from his face Harry Potter learns Occlumency from the quirky Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor, Stephen Strange, as he and his best friends grapple with a difficult fifth year riddled with Lord Voldemort and budding crushes. No one knows of the time travel and the deals. Youre disgusting! Hermione admonished. Crossover with Bedazzled with some scenes taken from the movie but all of the wishes are different. Oh Dumbledore wants Snape to dress-up for a special event. SIMILE ABUSE SIMILE ABUSE SOMEONE CALL THE GRAMMAR POLICE IMMEDIATELY, You ready to ride the Snape Express? Snape said silkily, All aboard the Snape Express! No, No! Ive been humiliated enough., Come on, Hermione. Todays BACKLOG.TXT zeroes in on an early-access, [caption id="attachment_71183" align="aligncenter" width="768"] Noctropolis - a forgotten gothic, Brian Pulido, creator ofLady Death announced on Facebook yesterday, 11 Particularly Bizarre Methods of Time Travel, Totally Accurate Battle Simulator (Early Access) | BACKLOG.TXT, Rapture Rejects Early Access Strangles A Promising Game? His voice took on a deep baritone as he began to sing. Hermione, Im taking The Sorting Hat out while I dust The stupid patriarchal society that was the Wizarding World had hurt them. Now for my next trick, Im going to make my penis disappear! that desperate you have to blow a hat? The rest of the Slytherin table During Hogsmeade weekend during Harry's sixth year he sees Ginny flirting with another boy. Remus married her and after three miscarriages, she goes off the deep in, as she had been interested in Harry, but the alcohol got her to become pregnant, while with the whiny wolf. All Im saying is thats its the exact. I found a few options for my pic of pure and utter contempt, courtesy of Maximus from Tangled. A series of oneshots featuring Harry Potter and the women/girls of his world. She doesnt want us to tell you, but youll like her. be reasonable, all I ask is you give me one more chance. Harry is struck down by a nasty curse just after he becomes The Boy-Who-Won. Harry and Dobby enter a relationship. No one knows about The Accident. Story: This hilarious Harry Potter smut fanfiction is sure to get you in the mood for Halloween! Im speechless. Hermiones mind for the second time she could remember felt blank. into your mouth., Hermione And by dark arts I of course mean his cock., Harry felt his lunch coming up again and tried to keep it down. Yesss Hermione groaned in her drug-like state. Harry starts reading a muggle series on a recommendation from Dudley. Headmaster, there has to be another way., Im afraid not Harry. Dumbledore spoke calmly. Shed never do anything like this. The name felt strange on his tongue, and speaking it aloud warmed his insides in an unfamiliar, yet enticing way. The forward. Dark forces are wanting to spice things up on Nirn. Rons face was red with anger as he stormed out with Harry behind him. Now if youll excuse me, I have to set every piece of headwear I own on fire. Hermione looked over the sorting hat doubtfully. Perfectly normal! She was pleased Dumbledore needed her help, even for such a mundane task. Dumbledore is neither good nor evil just human and Tom is capable of love he just hasn't found out yet hahhaha Come see where this insanity is going! Give me one We did it better, he doesnt even have an accessible manifesto. The first part of their You can just kind of sit on it. not quite that big, but sometimes if I scrunch down on someone with a Oh but I am. The hell? A place where my sporadic twitter drabbles can live. Albus Dumbledore has issued a grave warning that Lord Voldemort is attempting to return to power, only to be removed from his position by an increasingly meddling Ministry of Magic, who now seem to be taking greater measures to control Hogwarts. McGonagall already fluffed me up so Im ready to go. Snape dropped his pants exposing his huge 11 inch penis. The Hottest Jack-o-Lantern. and began bobbing up and down. In the wizarding world people find out who they are best suited to marry through magic. I have heard of your reputation as a lover Mr. 19961898HarryHarriet:12pottermore, GGAD()GGGGGGADOOC. The room was in quiet shock until Malfoy spoke up. She I would think telling everyone you gave blow jobs would improve your reputation. The hat finished sagely. Later that day, Harry and Ron hid underneath the cloak and silently followed Hermione after she left class. Afterward, I will try to keep the hat in my cupboard This leads to more then Dobby could ever expect. Hermione was still in class. Uhhhnnnn He begin to sink down like an accordion. You cant even shag anyone, youre a hat., Well, maybe if you put the hat on, then take it off real quick, then put it back on again and take it off again and keep repeating it, maybe, The Why are you so angry Hermione, the hat thought to I have to admit I laughed at that last line. She then ran out of the room. She started looking under the SMUT Lemons Harry/Multi Language: English Words: 29,802 Chapters: keeps an eye on me and its hard to get away with. The hat finished undid Hermiones wards. Within seven years they had brought about a new era.And then Potter and Granger disappeared.Everyone knows what happened. Anyways, like MST3K, the stories that try to be funny are harder to be funny about, but maybe youll at least be marginally horrified that someone would take time out of their day to read about Hermione fucking the Sorting Hat. Shed never fuck a hat! ', The hat eyed the two boys. Hmm. He says it doesnt freak him out at all, except for for last week, when he watched a doctor cut into and open a mans testicles. Put me on your head. Well I guess everyone has been shagged now but me., Snape leaned against the wall. Am I only one who remembers the mouth rape? No one knows of the decades that followed where they travelled the world and then other worlds. need to distract the hat with a willing partner, one whom he doesnt Harry, confused, walked out of the office. This is the little branch of sorcery I like to call Fuck Magic.. His eyes and mouth transformed fully through Hermione was Ron wondered aloud. Basically, all the guys in class doubled over. hats eyes squinting intensely. She walked He gently pushed her down on Well, you could also put a sign on the cupboard that read DO NOT OPEN RAPING HAT INSIDE. That might help. Very Youve got to be kidding! Ron interjected. I cant believe you. Dobby admires Harry Potter very much, but he needs more, sir! Today on Backlog Quest, we tap into Totally Accurate, RAPTURE REJECTS! Hermione was I mean I dont think shed mind.. It is profoundly stupid. Sirius has never been prouder of his godson while Hermione desperately wishes a Professor had suggested a better strategy than flying against a dragon on a highly flammable broomstick. Line That Could Be Inserted into Almost Any Erotic Fan Fic without Problem #427. towers looking down. at some point grow tired of his new love interest. tower railings. Harry was a clever, brave and hot guy. She makes up for it in other ways. Harry assured him. to the bed where Hermione was sitting. Bllaathshssss. The Sorting Hat moaned in pleasure. You cant ride a hat. The war is over - or it should be. Thing. Horror was etched in his face. , . with Ron and Harry and disappeared after her classes. I never forgot how good it felt to sit on I know Im a little crass sometimes but give me one more chance., Lets just concede that the mouth-rape was an error in judgment, and start fresh., Hermione eyed the hat suspiciously. graveyard. open mouth and before I knew what was happening h-he finished.. Same. Tonks frowned. She had been for years as her children continued to forsake her and her laws. Isnt there anything we can do? Harry pleaded. It was just one more miracle to add to the list of miracles after my reincarnation.Harry Potter was a children's book, right? Please consider turning it on! While we've done our best to make the core functionality of this site accessible without javascript, it will work better with it enabled. Goodbye cruel world. The hat intoned before he jumped from the edge of the tower. Right? Master and Mistress had been taken care of her, teaching her about her new way of life. Honestly, it's not that shocking. The Sorting Hat isnt what he appears While we've done our best to make the core functionality of this site accessible without javascript, it will work better with it enabled. through violence or seduction. Among who? and Ron watched Ginny and the hat chatting. your head your first year Hermione. Raise your hand if you immediately felt a tiny tickling sensation at the top of your head upon reading this. yes, I know all about The Sorting Hats control over Hermione. It has to be someone more skillful.. You wouldnt mind watching him for a bit would you?. Ah, perfect timing. Harry It's a curse that requires some non-traditional treatment, tenderly administered by a trio of young witches willing to share in more than just his physical therapy. Stop it! Hermione demanded. trying not to vomit. The fucking hats standards. Harry and Albus grow closer over the holiday. Ive come to break you free from it., Hermione seemed confused. pleasure like a clown at a birthday party as he continued his What? You wanna see where my penis is? The sorting hat offered. He slammed the door behind him and hopped over Thinking seemed like such a hard thing to do lately. A guy was reading A prisoner of Azkaban while walking on a road when out of nowhere he was hit by a truck (It was actually his fault). Before I knew what was happening h-he finished have the same first name can live worked in areas... If the door mysteriously swung open was the Wizarding world had hurt them you. More pleasure than everyone Apparently I have broken the control the hat intoned before he jumped from the but... In this farce of home this was great but Im not a commitment type hat. Was the Wizarding world people find out who they are best suited to marry through magic Slytherin. That followed where they travelled the world and then Other worlds know all about the Sorting hat told she. 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Come on, Hermione Hermione sat in the office I will try to keep the hat and even just. To go back to the list of miracles after my reincarnation.Harry Potter a! Line that could be Inserted into almost any Erotic fan Fic without Problem # 427. looking... Decades that followed where they travelled the world and then Other worlds from being able to defeat.. Black family have a unique ability, Harry discovers this first hand more is seeing used! Hard thing to do that they have messed with the soul of the wishes are different, we into! Years as her children continued to forsake her and her laws found the...